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On occasion, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his periods of extreme self-importance frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he states. “You are on cloud nine and you’re like, ‘People will see that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically succeeded by a “crash”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him particularly vulnerable to negative feedback from those around him. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually evaluated by a clinician. However, he questions he would have taken the label if he hadn’t previously arrived at that realization on his own. When someone suggests to somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining NPD

Although people have been labelled as narcissists for decades, it’s not always clear what the term implies the term. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, as there is widespread prejudice around the illness. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the specialist says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I never truly valued about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Gender Differences in The Disorder

Although three-quarters of people found to have narcissistic personality disorder are males, research points out this figure does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, similar to everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who discusses her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders are comorbid.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with receiving negative comments and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to self-protection or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her loved ones, as she strives not to return into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners as a teenager,” she reveals. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. It’s been a process of understanding continuously which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say in conflicts because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Personality disorders tend to be associated with childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting certain expectations. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think forming deep connections, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, in a comparable situation, struggles with feelings. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Pursuing Treatment

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a mental health professional for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions through national services (a long period of therapy is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a few individuals about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is always a good thing,” he comments. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the diagnosis. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of digital groups point to {more narcissists|a growing number